An alternative to the tyranny of new years resolutions
January 2022
Every social media post right now is about new years resolutions, apart from those about Whitehall parties... But those resolutions often end up languishing in February’s gutters, if they made it through the month at all. New years resolutions are formed on the high of Twixtmas rest when reality hasn’t yet hit, or driven by self loathing and burnout. Neither include the ingredients for sustainable change. Resolutions shoot for a one-off achievement, or a goal (which, in a moment of coaching heresy, I’ll confess a mild loathing for), and one which is invariably personally challenging or you would have done it already. Resolutions come with a stick to beat ourselves with, but with none of the accompanying thinking, motivation or support to allow us to meet them.
So this year, I invite you to abandon resolutions. Instead: make an intention. Intentions are about mindset and direction of travel. Their beauty is in their permission to recommit and course correct at any point. You can’t fall off the intention wagon; you simply nudge yourself back into your intended way of thinking and you are back on track. If resolutions are handbrake turns that require massive energy (inevitably ending in a dead stop), then intentions gradually and sustainably push you along the change curve. My intention this year is to stay expansive - to not let stress or perfectionism close down my options. That’s plenty for me.
Some questions for reflection
What mindset do you want to cultivate over the coming months?
What might that allow for you? And what shifts in behaviour might that require?
How often do you want to reaffirm your intention, and what might prompt you to do so?
Happy Intending.
What I’m reading: Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, a science based study into about ending the cycle of overwhelm, aimed at women. It had me at ‘the problem is the world has turned ‘wellness’ into yet another goal everyone ‘should’ strive for…’. For a taste, listen to Brene Brown talk to the authors here.
What I’m listening to: Things Fell Apart by Jon Ronson. A podcast from the broadcaster and writer behind The Psychopath Test and So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, it explores the often inauspicious or minor incidents leading to the front line battles in todays culture wars. In one of the more heart warming episodes, he tells the story of Tammy Faye, an American evangelist who became an unlikely LGBTQ ally. The recent biopic: ‘The Eyes of Tammy Faye’ is now on my watch list.
